You dance around the kitchen
Like a carefree teenage girl
With aches and pains discarded
You sing as you twist and twirl
You bake and roast and grill all day
You're always glued to the cooker
But it all comes to a grinding halt
When it's time to watch the snooker
You're obsessed with Eddie Stobart
Have a crush on Captain Picard
You grow strawberries and tomatoes
In plastic bins in the back yard
You can download tunes from YouTube
You can text at the speed of light
You'll even share your jelly babies
But only after a fight
And this year on Mother's Day
There's one thing else that's true
Your children may think you're crazy
But your grandchildren think you're cool
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